3 Times A Cheater « Result #1 on Mar 14, 2009, 1:16am »
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, when Jack asks his wife, ¡°Betty, have you ever cheated on me?¡±
Betty replies, ¡°Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don¡¯t want to ask that question.¡±
¡°Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please.¡±
¡°Well, all right. Yes, three times¡¡±
¡°Three?!? Well, when were they?¡± he asked.
¡°Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years-old and you really wanted to start a business on your own, and no bank would give you a loan? But, then one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?¡±
¡°Oh, Betty, you did that for me? I guess I can¡¯t be too upset about that. Well, when was number 2?¡±
¡°Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and needed that very risky operation that no surgeon was willing to perform? And, remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to perform the surgery himself?¡±
¡°Betty, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. To do such a thing, you must truly love me darling. How can I be upset with that?¡±
¡°So, all right then, when was number 3?¡±
¡°Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?¡±
Angels Watching Over Me « Result #2 on Mar 14, 2009, 1:16am »
All night,all day, Angels watching over me,my Lord. All night,all day, Angels watching over me. Sun is a-setting in the west, Angels watching over me,my Lord. Sleep my child,take your rest, Angels watching over me. All night,all day, Angels watching over me,my Lord. All night,all day, Angels watching over me. All night,all day, Angels watching over me,my Lord. All night,all day, Angels watching over me. Sun is a-setting in the west, Angels watching over me,my Lord. Sleep my child,take your rest, Angels watching over me. All night,all day, Angels watching over me,my Lord. All night,all day, Angels watching over me.
Happy Gorrila « Result #3 on Mar 14, 2009, 1:16am »
It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt.
The zoo is not very busy this morning.As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the woman, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.
"Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him." he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips.
Then the husband nabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her into the cage with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM you have a headache . . . "
Christmas Love! « Result #4 on Mar 14, 2009, 1:16am »
Is Christmas dying? Holly that hang from the door is disappearing, Lights don¡¯t shine so bright. Christmas goodwill and spirit is hard to be found, Feeling I¡¯ve found my scrooge. Is it now that I¡¯ve grown I see a different picture, Not so tinted in green and gifts. Santa filling my stocking, Everything such a dream through a child eyes. Nativity plays being played at school, The birth of Christ instilled into our lives. Life is changing with so many different cultures and beliefs. Will the true meaning be lost? When we have people digging a hole with their wallets. Christmas is not about the biggest present, Or how much money you¡¯ve spent. Christmas for me is about love, Giving it through goodwill, with a smile or just being there. People may lose faith in religion, Never lose faith in Christmas, Christmas is love!
This story took place several years ago,wow power leveling, when our boys were about eight years old. It was the first game of the season, and the first game in which the boys began pitching. I went out to discuss ground rules with the umpire and realized that is was also the first year that the boys could steal bases. Unfortunately, we had not gone over this in practice. wow power leveling,So I hurried back to the dugout, gathered my players and proceeded to go over the rules.wow power leveling, As I got to the subject of stealing bases, I announced enthusiastically, "And this year we get to steal!" The news caused the boys to erupt into yelling and cheering. wow gold,Their response left me thinking positively that this might all work out okay after all. wow gold,Then the cheers died down, and as our team was about to take the field, one player loudly exclaimed,wow gold,"Steal what?!" I let out a groan as I realized that the question had come from my son!
Colorful Shades of Gray « Result #6 on Feb 26, 2009, 8:49pm »
Moths are very ugly creatures. At least that is what I always thought until a reliable source told me otherwise. When I was about five or six years old, my brother Joseph and I stayed overnight at our Aunt Linda¡¯s house,wow power leveling our favorite relative. She spoke to us like adults, and she always had the best stories.
Joseph was only four years old, and still afraid of the dark, so Aunt Linda left the door open and the hall light on when she tucked us in to bed. Joe couldn¡¯t sleep, so he just lay there staring at the ceiling. Just as I dozed off to sleep, he woke me up and asked, ¡°Jennie, what are those ugly things near the light?¡±(I had always liked that he asked me questions because wow gold I was older and supposed to know the answers. I didn¡¯t always know the answers, of course, but I could always pretend I did.) He was pointing to the moths fluttering around the hall light. ¡°They¡¯re just moths, go to sleep,¡± I told him.
He wasn¡¯t content with that answer,wow power leveling or the moths near his night light, so the next time my Aunt walked by the door he asked her to make the ugly moths go away. When she asked why, he said simply, ¡°Because they¡¯re ugly and scary, and I don¡¯t like them! ¡±She just laughed, rubbed his head, and said, ¡°Joe just because something is ugly outside doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s not beautiful inside. Do you know why moths are brown?¡± Joe just shook his head.
¡°Moths are the most beautiful animals in the animal kingdom. At one time they were more colorful than the butterflies. They have always been helpful, kind, and generous creatures. One day the angels up in heaven were crying. They were sad because it was cloudy and they couldn¡¯t look down upon the people on earth. Their tears fell down to the earth as rain. The sweet little moths hated to see everyone so sad. They decided to make a rainbow.wow power leveling The moths figured that if they asked their cousins, the butterflies, to help, they could all give up just a little bit of their colors and they could make a beautiful rainbow.
One of the littlest moths flew to ask the queen of the butterflies for help. The butterflies were too vain and selfish to give up any of their colors for neither the people nor the angels. So, the moths decided to try to make the rainbow themselves. They beat their wings very hard and the powder on them formed little clouds that the winds smoothed over like glass. Unfortunately, the rainbow wasn¡¯t big enough so the moths kept giving a little more and a little more until the rainbow stretched all the way across the sky. They had given away all their color except brown, which didn¡¯t fit into their beautiful rainbow.
Now the once colorful moths were plain and brown. The angels up in heaven saw the rainbow, and became joyous.wow gold They smiled and the warmth of their smiles shown down on the earth as sunshine. The
warm sunshine made the people on earth happy and they smiled, too. Now every time it rains the baby moths, who still have their colors, spread them across the sky to make more rainbows.¡±
My brother sank off to sleep with that story and hasn¡¯t feared moths since. The story my aunt told us had been gathering dust in the back corners of my brain for years,wow gold but recently came back to me.
I have a friend named Abigail who always wears gray clothes. She is also one of the most kind and generous people I¡¯ve ever met. When people ask her why she doesn¡¯t wear more colors she just smiles, that smile, and says, ¡°Gray is my color.¡± She knows herself and she doesn¡¯t compromise that to appease other people. Some may see her as plain like a moth, but I know that underneath the gray, Abigail is every color of the rainbow.
My Declaration of Self-Esteem « Result #7 on Feb 26, 2009, 8:48pm »
The following was written in answer to a 15-year-old girl¡¯s question, ¡°How can I prepare myself for a fulfilling life?¡±
I am me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.wow power leveling There are people who have some parts like me but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me -- my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all my thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they might be -- anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all the words that come out of it -- polite, sweet and rough, wow gold correct or incorrect; my voice, loud and soft; all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me,wow power leveling I can become intimately acquainted with me in all my parts. I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,wow power leveling and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.wow gold I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me and therefore I can engineer me.wow gold I am me and I am okay.
Hello, out there! « Result #8 on Jul 4, 2008, 1:20am »
I know most of you know me...its me.. LadyM(DonaM) from over by JA way...figured I could spice up the Smutty Hollow forum a bit... LOL! Nice place here!
Joined: Dec 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 5,929 Location: Shotgun in a 1967 Impala Karma: 0
Re: Chapter One? « Result #9 on May 1, 2007, 11:04am »
Sands shrugged. "I for one don't really care as such, but he's not staying in my car. It's not as if you actually have anything to keep a man healthy in your cabin of death, so maybe you should take him out on the town and entertain him a bit. Show him no harm meant?"
Auteur Aspirant Roving Purple Star COAFEM Guardian member is offline
Joined: Mar 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 5,568 Karma: 0
Re: Chapter One? « Result #10 on Apr 30, 2007, 11:33pm »
Tom seemed to ponder it a moment, his lips twitching thoughtfully. He scratched the back of his head some more and glanced toward the somewhat scraggly looking man as he peered right back, unnerving Tom. He shrugged his shoulders a little. "Eh. I guess I could give DB a call..." Even as he sounded far from certain, the wheels in his mind weren't completely useless. He was thinking about just how he could talk their senior officer into convincing the director and so forth. Eyes flickering back to Mort briefly before looking at Sands, he quirked a brow and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "And what are you going to do with him until we get the okay to bring him in?"
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